Now THAT was a good episode.

After that episode I am, as Tammy said, “shooketh to the core.” It wasn’t just the girls who brought the drama, but our Peter did too. Here are the most memorable moments from week 4:

The EX-tra Awkward Date

Victoria F got the date card that read “Let our love fly to new heights,” which gave her a panic attack because she is scared of heights. Thankfully, they were not skydiving like she feared, but instead he flew her to the amusement park, Cedar Point, which was reserved just for them. Victoria F faced her fear and went on rollercoasters with Peter. Afterwards they did the only reasonable thing to follow that up: they had drinks and talked about how about how many kids they wanted. Side note: Peter said he wanted two or four kids because he doesn’t want one of his kids to sit alone on amusement park rides. Holy cuteness, Peter. Anyway, seems like the date is going well, right? Not quite. Peter wanted to surprise Victoria with a concert. A concert with singer Chase Rice. Her ex-boyfriend. Yes, you read that right. Talk about AWKWARD. Victoria tried to dance with her current boyfriend while being serenaded by her ex. I honestly cannot think of anything worse. I got uncomfortable just watching it. I am still uncomfortable.  The distraught Victoria told Peter the truth at dinner, but then ran into a corner and cried because she was embarrassed. Mood. This whole situation was just full of chaos. The devil works hard, but the Bachelor producers work harder.

~Tackling~ Peter’s Love

The thought of blonde-headed Mykenna (who seems to never stop crying) playing a physical sport, especially football, had me scared but somehow, she survived! Let me just say, these girls were intense. The “Killer Bees” and the “Illuminators” put on a competitive game. I really enjoyed Tammy’s pre-game enthusiasm saying that she was “going to tackle a lot of [word that rhymes with witches]!” And shoutout to Shiann for scoring literally all the points for her team. MVP right there. However, the game was not the same without Victoria P who was sitting on the sidelines with Peter: he was giving her a back massage. {Rolls eyes.}  As expected, the Bachelor Bowl ended in a tie. Therefore, all the girls get to go to the cocktail party, not just the winning team. The more the merrier, I guess?

Alayah Literally NO ONE Likes You

This better be the last time I talk about this tramp. Can I say “tramp” in a school publication? Well, I just did. Twice. Anyway, I really don’t like her – like even her name makes me upset. Well the wicked witch is back, unfortunately. She just waltzed her way in during the cocktail party and stole Peter from Shiann. A true brat. Long story short, she told a new side of the story about her relationship with Victoria P – they went to Vegas together. I guess what happens in Vegas doesn’t always stay in Vegas? Like all of us, Peter was shocked that Victoria P might have lied. In all honesty, Victoria P didn’t really give much of an answer. So now I’m obviously suspicious of Victoria P. Especially when Savannah mentioned that she heard what Victoria P said off cameras. If Victoria P turns out to be fake, I am calling the police.

But wait, there’s more. When Peter came back to the other women alongside Alayah at the cocktail party, he gave the bozo a rose. Yes. A rose. The thing that means you are guaranteed to come back next week. Peter, I love you, but I really want to punch your cute face right now. He just keeps bringing girls back. You cannot have all of them Peter, end of discussion. Luckily, my spirit animal Natasha stood up and said “Imma go” and left the cocktail party because she was so mad, and I’ve never respected a woman more.

Kelsey’s Derby Date

I never thought I would say it, but I’m starting to like Kelsey. I didn’t think it was possible after the whole champagne “finasco.” However, she seems to have mellowed out. The two of them ended up competing in a Soap Box Derby race. They looked like they were just bobsledding but on dry land. It was weird but, cute I guess? Kelsey opened up to Peter about her parents’ divorce when she was in the seventh grade. She explained to Peter that this is part of the reason she has such a “tough exterior.” After this conversation I realized I may have been too hard on her with the whole champagne situation, when I didn’t even know anything about her. With that being said, I’m glad Peter gave her a rose. Team Kelsey? I do support the fact she is the same age as Peter (28) and not fresh out of college.

The girls went OFF

I was proud of these women, especially Natasha, Deandra, and Sydney, who spoke their truth to Peter. Natasha and Deandra called him out in front of everyone explaining that bringing Alayah back was a “Slap in the face” and it hurt them. Retweet. Additionally, Sydney spoke with him one on one confronting Peter with the reality that he doesn’t even know her middle name because of the lack of time they have spent together, thanks to the Alayah drama. Don’t get me wrong, I love my pilot, but in this scenario, I’m on the women’s side.

I’m now going to have to mentally prepare for week 5 five because Alayah is back. Now let us bow our heads and pray.